Yes, I’m currently single and I’ve been independently owned and operated for almost 7 years now! No, that doesn’t mean that something is wrong with me. Yes, it is by choice although I have NEVER been single for so long and I NEVER thought I would ever experience this lifestyle. Let me tell you how this happened…
I’ve always been the girl that would put everybody’s feelings and comfort before my own. There was a time in my life where I just could not be alone. I always had a group of people around me at all times. I lived in a house with 2 sisters and a brother, but I moved out early and started living my own life on my own terms. I was the mature friend. I was the ambitious and driven friend. I was the first friend to start working. I was the first friend to have my own apartment. I was pretty much always the first friend to handle business.
Being the first one to have my own apartment meant that everyone always wanted to come over and hang out. They wanted to come over and do things they couldn’t get away with at home and I allowed it. I was also the girl that stayed in long long relationships. When I love, I love hard and I’m super forgiving. I believe in making it work. With that being said, I lived vicariously through my free spirited, wild, and daring friends. They did things that I would never be brave enough to do. They did things that I was taught was forbidden. They did things that I only saw in movies and read in books, but I never passed any judgement and I loved and accepted them for who they were.
As the friend who was always the first to handle business, there came a time in 2012 when I began to feel like there was more to life; I desired more. I began to lose ‘friends’ because I began to grow and they wanted to continue doing the same things over and over that were not moving us forward. At this time, I had a boyfriend that I had been with for almost 4 years at the time. It was a relationship that was really great and really bad. I learned so much about the ‘street’ life from him but I also experienced the consequences that came with that life. I decided that was not the life for me, although I appreciate everything I learned and gained from the experience. I had come to a point where I was ready to throw in the towel and let him walk his own path.
After all the drama, the tears, the ups, the downs, the fighting, the worrying, the stress, etc. that comes with relationships, I decided to pack up and move to another state where I had enrolled into a university and obtained my bachelor’s degree. I had always wanted to go to college, but it didn’t happen for me right after high school. I lived my life and experienced the ‘real’ world before I went to college. I’m appreciative that it worked out this way because I knew what I wanted when I went to college and I gave it 1000%. It paid off! I felt like I had been blessed with a second chance at life and this time I am the author of my story, so I gave up being in a relationship and I lost many friends in order to follow my bliss and become successful.
During this time, I took time to get to know myself and I learned to enjoy being alone; being in my own company. I had never done that before. I didn’t know what made me happy. I didn’t know how to love myself. Therefore, I didn’t know how to allow someone else to love me and contribute to my happiness, and I was settling for much less than the best. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect for someone else to love you? If you’re not happy with yourself, how can you contribute to someone else’s happiness? I have become my own best friend and I must say that getting to know myself and working on me has been one of the hardest, but most rewarding work I’ve ever done! #SelfLoveIsTheBestLove
Now, I’m at a place where it’s hard for me to share all of my greatness with just anybody. I have standards and that’s okay. It’s actually harder to find a man when you’ve learned so much and are striving to do better. You kinda become a woman that people are intimidated by when you know more than people think you know and when you are not afraid to speak up. I am not defined by society’s rules and expectations of me. I define who I am and what I want in my life! I live a pretty awesome life, and I have learned that I don’t necessarily need a significant other to accomplish that.
Now, I’m not saying that I don’t ever get lonely or think about being in a relationship, because I do, but I will not settle for anything or anybody! My time is precious and it is something that I can never get back. I know what I want and I am patiently waiting for him to find me. Meanwhile, I am continuing to work on myself and my career. I am continuing to allow the universe to mold me into the woman that he needs. I want to be an asset to his life and not a liability and I desire to have the same from him. We will be a team and we will build and learn and explore and grow together! Love is a beautiful thing and I’m here for it, but I just know what I desire and when it arrives, I’ll know and be prepared to step into that experience. As I think about the day Mr. Charming approaches me, I’m blushing and feeling like a little girl again! Wish me luck and send positive vibes out into the universe for me on my exciting journey! We deserve the best and we should NEVER settle for less!